What do you do when something goes terribly, horribly wrong?

March 12, 2022, is a day I’ll never remember and a date I can’t forget. The gaps in my text messages reveal sometime between 2pm and 5pm that day, something happened. But my first memory is two days later.

I’m told that day my friend John and I arrived at the ski hill at noon. We practiced doing jumps and rails. I stopped to get into the lift line for the last run. Then, an out-of-control skier hit me head to head. I don’t remember any of it.

I spent the next three months in recovery from that traumatic brain injury. As a recovering neuropsychologist, I knew this could not be good for me long term. The anxiety was high. Would everything I built fall apart?

Yet, since that accident, I have better relationships. I am more present. I feel more connected spiritually. Life is so much richer (if a little more distractable).

Life can improve when something terrible happens to you

This isn’t saying you should want to be traumatized or go out trying impulsive things to speed up your growth. But in the US, about 61% of men and 51% of women report at least one traumatic event. So, let’s work on our response to when it happens.

Posttraumatic growth is positive change occurring due to struggle with highly challenging life crises (Tedeschi & Calhoun, 2004)

_______________________________________________________

Psychology Concept of the Week

How we respond to events matters. Your personality, skills, and support can build you up. These interact with your life experiences via wisdom and how you tell your own story. Even if the event is older, how you update your beliefs and interact with them matters today. Posttraumatic growth is an ongoing process.

If you want to learn more about this, here are two important papers

• Tedeschi, R. G., & Calhoun, L. G. (2004). Posttraumatic growth: conceptual foundations and empirical evidence". Psychological inquiry, 15(1), 1-18.

• Mangelsdorf, J., Eid, M., & Luhmann, M. (2019). Does growth require suffering? A systematic review and meta-analysis on genuine posttraumatic and postecstatic growth. Psychological bulletin, 145(3), 302.

_______________________________________________________

Invitation

If you want to grow, here are some prompts to help you grow through whatever happened

1. Create new possibilities after the event

Consider the following:

- do you want a new life path?

- is it possible you could grow?

- what do you want to stand for?

- do you want to improve yourself?

- what new interests do you want?

2. Improve your relationships.

A big shake-up gives you a chance to get a closer network:

- who do you rely on?

- how do you connect with others?

- how much effort do you give relationships?

- how much appreciation do you show in relationships?

3. Improve your self-mastery

- what are your strengths?

- how do you handle challenges?

- are you able to accept life on its own terms?

4. Grow spirituality

- how do you understand spiritual matters?

- how authentically do we live?

- what are your core beliefs?

5. Gratitude

- what is important in life?

- what do you value about yourself?

- what do you appreciate about each day? Here

In whatever you do, I hope you grow.

Drew

P.S. Exciting news, I have a couple of spots open in my coaching program, which is now available wherever you live, click here to apply