I have 37 items on my to-do list for today. My calendar is filled with unclear titles like 'meet with Jen.' Why I’m meeting with Jen? I don’t know. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I took on all these commitments in the past. Additionally, I lack clarity on what these appointments entail. However, I firmly believed 'it seemed like a good idea at the time.'

Often, we desire everything immediately, but this eagerness can lead to potential disasters. We impulsively commit without thoroughly considering the implications.

When reflecting on my life and the lives of my clients, it's evident how decades of commitments can burden us. For instance, I committed to play the guitar at 15, yet it remains seldom played, waiting for that 'one day.' It haunts me in the corner as I write this.

We frequently make commitments because they 'sound good' or because we fear disappointing others. This mindset increasingly overwhelms us as we attempt to have it all, forcing us to procrastinate and neglect other important aspects of life.

This burden of overcommitment is detrimental to us, affecting our overall well-being.

In this newsletter, we will delve into the issue of overcommitment, discussing its impacts and exploring potential solutions.

The Effort-Reward Imbalance (ERI) model, first introduced by German medical sociologist Siegrist in 1996, has garnered significant attention in studies concerning occupational health due to its ability to predict negative physical and mental health consequences (Siegrist and Li, 2016; Rugulies et al., 2017). This model strives to identify unfavorable psychosocial work attributes that revolve around an imbalance between the "costs" and "gains" in social interactions laden with costs.

It is rooted in social reciprocity, fundamental to work agreements. It posits that stress arises when employees perceive a discrepancy between the substantial costs expended at work and the meager gains received in return. Repeated experiences of failed reciprocity trigger enduring negative emotions of reward frustration and corresponding psychobiological stress responses.

The model comprises three primary elements: effort, reward, and overcommitment. "Effort" signifies external work requisites. "Reward" is believed to emanate from three streams: monetary compensation (financial reward), advancement in career or job stability (reward related to status), and recognition or esteem (socioemotional reward). Additionally, a distinctive personal approach to managing challenging situations termed "overcommitment" is encompassed. Individuals exhibiting this coping mechanism display an excessive dedication to work. The theory suggests that overcommitment not only induces stress responses but also magnifies the detrimental health impacts of ERI (Siegrist, 1996, 2016, 2017).

How to get over your

Pretend you don’t own it: Sometimes, detachment from a project or commitment can give you a fresh perspective and help you make better decisions. Don't let ownership cloud your judgment.

Get over the fear of wasting: Fear of wasting time or resources can trap you in commitments that no longer serve you. Remember, it's okay to let go if it's not beneficial anymore.

Own your fail: Embrace failures as opportunities to learn and grow. Don't be afraid to acknowledge when things didn't go as planned; it's a chance to improve.

Stop trying to force a fit: If something feels like a constant struggle, it might not be the right fit. Don't force yourself into commitments that don't align with your goals and values.

Get a second opinion: Seek advice from trusted individuals. Sometimes an external perspective can shed light on whether a commitment is worth your time and effort.

Be aware of the status quo: Don't stick with commitments just because "that's how it's always been." Challenge the norm and assess if it still holds value for you.

Apply zero-based budgeting: Evaluate each commitment independently, ensuring it aligns with your current priorities. Don't carry over commitments from the past if they no longer make sense.

Stop making casual commitments: Be intentional about what you commit to. Don't say yes casually; understand the impact of your commitments before agreeing.

Pause when you speak: Take a moment before committing to anything. Avoid impulsive agreements and give yourself time to consider if it's genuinely something you should take on.

Get over the fear of missing out: Focus on what truly matters to you instead of getting caught in the fear of missing out. Quality over quantity in your commitments.

Run a reverse pilot: Test commitments on a smaller scale before fully committing. This way, you can assess if it's the right fit without being overwhelmed.

News

Course! I’m creating a cohort-style class to help with productivity, connecting, and creating a life you love. If this interests you, please email and fill out the poll below!

Ebook! My first short ebook is out. It’s free and all about how to use mindsets to stop procrastination. Download it here. Please shoot me an email to let me know what you think.

Workshop! This starts this week! This is for clinicians and coaches or anyone else who wants to work with Neurodivergent folks better (Autistic individuals or ADHDers). I’m leading this workshop with my friend Jen Kemp. Click here for more information.

I hope you have a wonderful week!

Sincerely

-Drew